“ I think you should text her and tell her you’re around the corner and that you’ll be there in 5 minutes. And then don’t show up. She’ll get aggravated but when you do actually show up she’ll appreciate and want you more.” said Jeffrey sitting on the outside patio of a local bar with his two buddies engaged in a one-way conversation as Jeffrey so adamantly offered relationship advice. He continues by saying how upset his girlfriend gets at him when he messes up the grocery list and yells “JEFFREY…….I SAID I needed 2% Milk not Whole. Why don’t you ever pay attention to what I want.” And by that loud imitative voice, I got to meet Jeffrey from a distance! Sitting at an adjacent Ice Cream shop with my friend we couldn’t help but to be captivated by the relationship conversation that was taking place a couple of feet away. They exchanged several pointers on how to treat their girlfriends or handle their upsets as my friend and I cringed. But the point isn’t how we felt about their inaccurate analysis of their girlfriends (solely based on the little we had heard). The point is that everyday, whether we’re hanging out with friends, having small talks at the office, or calling up and frantically going off about that guy or girl, we either seek advice, give advice or are being solicited for our input.
Have you ever followed up, I mean really went back and evaluated the accuracy of the relationship advice you were given or that you offered to someone else? How can we even verify if any of it was actually true? Do we question the clarity of the mind of the receiving end when we share our stories? How do we know if their perception isn’t fogged by their own relationship? What if they’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired when they heard our relationship dilemma? Could something that we find intolerable be completely acceptable by another? What if they only agree with us just to be nice? It is rare that any of us, think about these questions.
It’s in fact very common to subscribe to the epidemic of ‘What works for me, has got to work for you’. We don’t quite say it like this or like to think of it as that, but in reality that’s exactly what we do!
Ever single person regardless of their past relationships, history, and current situation needs something unique to feel heard and understood. We need to be able to breathe and thrive in our relationships. Sometimes this connection is effortless and other times it takes conscious awareness of our differences and ways in which we should navigate around them. When we become attached to an outcome purely based on our perception, expectation, motivation and communication, it’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks!
I understand that giving and receiving relationship tips from friends, colleagues, family members and even strangers is part of our daily habit. But let us open our minds and be aware that they are subjective and offer just a piece or two of the puzzle.
If you want to gain an objective understanding of self and those in your environment, you can take the test today and receive your own unique “operating manual.”
Thank You for reading me post. I hope you enjoyed it.
Till Next Time….