Why is having healthy and solid self-worth important in life and relationships? The simple answer is:

It is the basis of the kind of life you create for yourself and the quality of experiences you will have along the way. In addition, the measure of your self-worth essentially shapes the path for all the other states of self; self-respect, self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-love.

It helps to take a few minutes and reflect on what having self-worth even means and how we can assess and evaluate its presence in our daily decisions, interactions, and transactions.

From a broader perspective, the basic definition of self-worth is believing in being good enough and deserving of experiences that make you feel significant, loved, and valued.

Having self-worth is the ability to own the space you hold with the awareness that you belong, you matter, and have tremendous value. Like many aspects of our being, self-worth has a range, and it can fluctuate during different times and for different reasons. It is often unnoticeable from the outside, but it’s something we carry within us 24/7 that becomes a big part of our inner monologue.

Self-worth requires frequent internal reflections and deep dives throughout one’s life. Since it is based on several factors, which we will get into later in this blog, it can decrease or increase based on triggers, memories, psychological and emotional influences, work environments, and our relationships from childhood into adulthood.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to gauge your self-worth?

(There are no right or wrong answers and a scaling method) I suggest writing down your answers to go back to them later and see how your future answers will differ from your current ones. These questions are not typical and do not seem to dictate your measure of self-worth. However, answering them will help you realize how much you play a role in determining and displaying your self-worth.

1. When describing yourself, what do you say first?

2. What’s more dominant in your thoughts of yourself? Your strengths or weaknesses?

3. How do you receive compliments? What do you say right away, and what happens to your body in that instance?

4. How does others’ success and happiness make you feel about yourself?

5. How often do you come up with meaningful goals for yourself?

6.  How do you receive criticism? How does other’s opinion affect you?

7. How loving and compassionate do you feel about yourself?

8. What do you do when you find yourself in an undesirable circumstance?

9. How much does your happiness/good mood for the day depend on something happening to you?

10. How do you deal with disappointment? How do you move past them?

As a life coach and someone who listens to people’s evaluation of themselves, I am often struck by how determined people are when identifying their self-worth and how they struggle with implementing it in their relationships in love, work, family, and friends. There tends to be a lot of confusion around the meaning of self-worth and why we need to assess it often.  It’s best to set the intention that encourages you to adjust and grow instead of sitting with a hard conclusion that puts your self-worth in a static and low state.

So now that you’ve answered the questions above, it’s essential to realize that many factors influence one’s self-worth, especially when compared to others. I recommend to permit yourself only to allow observing others’ healthy self-worth to inspire you and not discourage or create a self-deprecating narrative. Furthermore, do not look down or judge those who tend to have difficulties upholding themselves to a level of respect and value that meets your standards. Everyone’s story plays out differently. The best we can do is inspire, support, and show compassion toward ourselves and others.

Here are some key components of self-worth and ways to make the proper adjustments:

1. It is in knowing that regardless of where you come from, how you look like, what you do for a living, what you’ve achieved thus far, and what your net worth is, you hold a special value that only you possess. There is not another exactly like you walking this earth. That’s worth a whole lot. Show up in every stage of life, carrying your precious value with the energy of complete trust and belief in you. This step can feel intimidating and somewhat impossible for a lot of people. However, intention carried out by repetition is the formula to shifting your trust in yourself.

2.  It is in realizing that you can freely give yourself the kind of love and mental nourishment that will exude undeniable confidence and self-respect. It will provide you the level of patience and tolerance you need to gracefully walk away from environments or people not in alignment with you. Compassion directed inward is a powerful way to encourage you to reach for a meaningful life. It comes down to you upholding your worth and not leaving it up for negotiation.

3. Self-worth is not ego running the show. It is not being or feeling privileged. It’s not treating others as less than. It knows you deserve all that your heart wants and yearns for. ‘I AM’ affirmations are great for preparing your mind and energy to be in self-belief mode, that you deserve to be here. 
4. When you value yourself, when you know you are just as worthy as anyone else to live an abundant life full of good health, prosperity, love, accomplishments, and self-expression, your efforts will have a path to follow, a blueprint to build on.
5. Even though having self-worth is heavily influenced by one’s subconscious mind, which is significantly programmed in childhood, it is not etched in stone. It can be and must be evaluated, edited, and elevated. What we are told can scar us, but scars heal too.
6. Accomplishments, beauty, possessions, and people do not determine your self-worth. You know who you are, who you are becoming, and how you want to be treated; build up your self-worth. Life will then reciprocates your treatment and effort toward yourself.
7. There is no need to prove, ask, demand, or beg for others to see or value you. Once lived out by you, the world responds to how you do you. Anything out of your boundaries of tolerance will not hold any power or place over you.
8. Everything is energy. That means everything we do, say, think, and feel also generates energy that is not only felt by us but also by the entire universe. The power is in the frequency we tune into and live out of. If and when adjustments are needed, shift your point of focus and attention. And sit with the knowingness that you will move in the right direction.
9. Self-worth is not your Net-worth. It’s often believed that when we’ve reached a level of accomplishment, attained our goals, or have something to show, we can have self-worth. Well, that’s confidence, not inner worth. Self-wroth says: I’m here and deserving. Confidence says: I’m prepared and can do this.
10. Self-worth doesn’t belittle, act childish, or entitled. Having healthy self-worth and self-respect are intertwined. They don’t exist without the other. When you know and believe that you are to live your purpose and deserve to be loved and honored, you show up grounded and centered. There is no external competition. It’s the inner inspiration that propels you into higher places.

Let yourself see and feel that you are loving and lovable, you are unique just as you are. Speak empowering words to yourself daily and let the self-criticism roll off of you as fast as possible. Remember, we all fall prey to the toxicities of our surroundings; we get fatigued, confused, irrational, and critical. No one is exempt from getting HALT – Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. However, when we have a deeper connection with ourselves, we can get up, dust ourselves off, and make the necessary shifts to honor our self-worth!

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