Beyond the Honeymoon Phase
If I’m fine and you’re fine, then why aren’t we fine together? Why can’t two people who consider themselves equally equipped with the answers and desire for success in their relationship end up facing challenges that leave them drained & lost??
It is very common to find ourselves alone on a deserted island when the initial excitement of the relationship begins to wear off. It is true that every relationship has a “honeymoon” phase even outside of romantic relationships. This phase also exists between a new hire and the workplace, between roommates, business partners, the landlord and the tenant, even a new president and the list goes on. Often the reason lies in our limited awareness of the innate dispositions of each person and the meaning behind it all.
The newness of any encounter brings with it a sense of mystery, adventure, and the joy of discovery of the unknown. Part of the experience encompasses the art of impression. Impressing upon the perception of the other that we are the person at whom they’re looking. This is all very healthy. In fact, it’s so normal that you’re not even consciously aware of this. So what do you do when all of a sudden you begin to notice the “red flags,” the little things that get on your nerves? Every day something little creeps in and adds to the pile until the small details have turned into a mountain standing before you. They’re still them, and you’re still you. So what has changed between then and now, between them and you?
This is when the art of ‘seeing’ comes in handy. Seeing and understanding. Seeing and accepting. Seeing and navigating. Seeing before speaking!
What if by simply observing one’s natural disposition and innateness you could forecast their behavioral tendencies. What if their words didn’t mask their nature and you were able to decipher between their personality and their authentic individuality. The most prominent obstacles in the way of unconditional loving are the interference of words and misconceptions we’ve formed about self and each other. How can you love a turtle unconditionally when all his life, he’s tried to convince you that he’s a tiger? How can you know what suits you best, if all your life you were told that Lions are better than bears? And yet the Lions kept roaring your head off!
What I’m saying is that we too are a reflection of nature, but we’re so distracted by human-made words and rhetoric that we’ve lost touch with the ability to spot each other’s nature on sight.
We’re all fine just as we are. However, the potentiality and workability of any relationship even past the “honeymoon phase,” be it personal or professional, depends on the compatibility of our natures combined. Until this very notion is deeply understood and practiced, we can fall in and out of love without a map or an instruction manual that would warn us of the storms ahead.